Two new poems

[Solid Snake]

i wish i could let you go
but i know i'm not strong enough to

because i feel some great need
to hold on to whatever memory i have of you

i feel a deep sense of regret
at how we came to be and came apart

failure at my inability to understand
comprehend that life just was playing its part

questioning myself constantly
second guessing my every thought

wondering what it was i could do different
when all i needed to do was not listen to my heart

you became so important
and i became diluted in my thoughts

placing you on a shining pedestal
so high even i wouldn't be able to reach

the further you climbed away
the more i tried to make you stand still

now you are gone completely
and i am left all alone

staring off into the distance
wondering what happened to you and i

so now in my loneliness
i have good days and bad

where everything in my heart
will tell me to reach out for you

in the greatest misplaced hope
where my hope has always failed me

time and time through my life
never once succeeding for me

so i keep you in my heart
only to go from one day to the next

wondering if i will be strong
and strengthen myself

for the bad days
which all seem to have now become

i wish i could let you go
but i know im not strong enough to

so i stand by and watch
as i let time take you further away

only to become just another memory
just another regret that will forever haunt me

-

all i know in life
i learned from others

never learning about who i was
never learning what i liked or didn't

questioning things in my heart
never voicing my opinions

i find myself standing
all alone in an open field

i see in front of me
time in a human form

i can see through it
clear to the other side

on the whole of its body
i can see visuals of my life

as if a video is being played
of me from birth till now

all the moments of my youth
when i scared my mother half to death

the first crush i ever had
whom i so desperately wanted to tell

all the small moments
all the big moments

as i watched these images
taken shape in a human form

i begin to realize the message
that i hadn't for so long

that i've spent my entire life up till now
living outside myself

looking at everything and anything
but never looking directly at me

and i was afforded this luxury
because all i had was time

and all time had was me
and we were together as one as brothers

but now we can no longer be as such
as slowly each part begins to fade

the wind begins to flow
and my friend time begins to fade away

and the memories of all things
the wind takes away

and i am left standing
feeling a new sense of alone

as my greatest friend has gone
swallowed whole by time itself

the sky above me begins to fade
the ground i stand on crumbles

all the sudden i am no more
all the sudden nothing matters anymore

am i free i wonder
am i free...

[Play]

Very good, Solid. I always love your poems.